Comfort

I've been absolutely terrified every moment of my life - and I've never let it keep me from doing a single thing I wanted to do. - Georgia O'Keeffe

I read this wonderful quote today and thought how much it related to my life. If I didn't go out and brave the world, test my mettle and do things I was afraid to do, how boring my life would have been.

Imagine being afraid of the pain of childbirth, so much so that you wouldn't think of having a child. I nearly lost my first child who had a serious birth defect, that another child "could" have. I might have stopped and saved the pain of loosing another, but I had my wonderful daughter instead. And although the first birth was very painful, the second was a breeze, didn't even know I was in labor.

When I was in my late 30's I decided to go back to school. Scary, but I did it. I had the opportunity to travel to France for summer school. Scary, traveling in a foreign country. I am very shy and travel in the US is scary enough, but traveling where I don't speak the language? Horrors. But I did it.

I graduated and applied for many jobs. I hate interviews, I get so nervous, but I didn't quit. I got a job as a lighting designer and traveled to many countries in my job. Travel to Mexico and China very scary and sometimes I had to travel alone in China. But I wouldn't have traded my experiences for anything.

My ex would never come to my house to visit the kids, because his wife didn't feel "comfortable". If I spent my whole life only doing what felt comfortable, what a boring life I would have had. OK, so maybe I like the kick of adrenaline a bit, but at least I got to spend lots of time with my kids, unlike my ex who is no longer with us.