Lifetime Gurantee

One of my first jobs, well actually my fourth job, not including my freelance craft and art work that I started when I was 16 (I really didn't like working for the "man" even then) was working in the pet department of a major department store.

Could I tell you some stories about my few years working there, like the day I picked up a bag of snakes and a bag of frogs from one store and kept them in my bathtub until I could get them to another store. But that's a story for another post.

We sold mostly parakeets and fresh water fish, but we had small animals, hamsters, gerbils, mice, snakes and lizards, and occasionally a spider monkey. They were mean.

We had one and only one animal with a lifetime guarantee. If you purchased one of our parakeets, you got a lengthy piece of paper with a certificate for a lifetime guarantee. We had to fill them out at the time of sale, sign them and hand them over to the buyer, who took their little bird home in it's cardboard box and never took a second look at the certificate they filed away in their important papers.

A lifetime guarantee on a parakeet. The purpose of course was to protect the buyer if the bird passed in the first few days, which is possible when bringing a young delicate creature in a new environment. But more often is was the little old lady, sobbing and crying, who after 5-10 with their loving parakeet, would bring their cold little bodies to us in a cardboard box, The fine print on that certificate? The parakeet is guaranteed for life, but what you get is a replacement parakeet of your choice.

I can't begin to tell you how many of the sniffling little old ladies broke down when they heard they weren't getting their money back. They didn't want another bird, how could they love another, their sweet bird was barely in it's grave (not really, it was in that cardboard box). We really didn't require the body either, but they never read the certificates.

There just HAS to be a moral to this story. But I'm not even sure what it is. Oh, maybe you can offer your buyer a lifetime guarantee on your product, because chances are, they'll either loose their certificate, or never read the fine print.

Life on Mars - Online School and Exhaustion

So you're thinking about online school for your kids. I guess if you have as bad of a school system as we do you might consider it: if your kids are not doing as well as you like, you might consider it: if you kids are bullied: you might consider it. 

My grandsons weren't living up to expectations, and in the really rotten school they went to, they were getting yelled at constantly. Imagine your kids teachers pointing out your child specifically and saying...there's so and so again, daydreaming. I mean they did that to me, but that was a LONG time ago. 

First, registration is NOT easy. We thought we had almost everything 2 weeks before school. Then we needed this, and that, and another thing. Immunization records, last report cards, a 2 hour long online form for EACH of the kids, computer waiver forms,  birth certificates, progress reports, the list seemed never ending. This school was not like any other, we had to get everything, there was no transfer of information from the other school.

The registration process took us so long that the boys missed close to 3 weeks of school, because the online school started earlier and had less vacation days than our local school. We are a bit lost and behind right now. And the tough part is that I have to work WAY more than I imagined, because I am the boys coach. 

The boys  need to work about 5 hours a day, and I have to sit by the third grader and help him understand everything he's working on. And I don't get a lot right now. I had to take an online coaching course that was several hours (I haven't even finished it yet). 

Here is the plus. The students get all of their books, and study materials free. The 3rd grader even got a nice art kit and paper (no, I don't have to go out and buy crayons and pencils and erasers enough to last everyone in the class for a year). Most of their work is done in their provided workbooks, wow, no paper either. They also each get a loaner computer for the school year. YAY!

And the other nice thing? Their grades are already improving. The 9th grader works well independently and he's working very hard. The third grader is going to be a LOT of work, but he likes the way he's learning. Some of the classes are fun, he can go back when he doesn't understand, and they have cute videos too. I'm hoping he will eventually be a bit more independent. 

So that's what Life on Mars was like this week. Coaching, learning, unpacking and setting up computers, and designing and finishing my new purse.

Life Without Etsy - Nearly Two Years Later

It's been nearly 2 years since My daughter Poppy and I were unceremoniously removed from the ranks as Etsy Sellers. Can you believe it? Well she had her shops shut down a bit earlier than mine, and she did brazenly open other shops and sold under different names until they found her and shut her down. Her offense? Mistaken reports of copyright infringement. You can read more in my post Etsy Shop Closings

First Poppy was mad, and rightfully so. She has been with Etsy since the early years, promoted it, and earned her living there. They were not even remotely kind or willing to listen. She wasted a lot of energy, trying to work things out, or break their system. She had already opened an Artfire shop, but back then, Artfire was just a startup, and not working the way it does today.

One day I suggested she go back to eBay, where she started. Statistically eBay as far more traffic than Etsy, so I thought it worth a try. Poppy knew that only her genre clothes would sell there, and sell they did. Sadly, she eventually had to give up her very popular Longstockings and beautiful designer clothing, but she found a niche on eBay with genre clothing and cosplay. After time, her business on Artfire grew nicely too.

This year, in this poor economy, Poppy will be earning close to double the money she made on Etsy. It took a lot of work and re-imaging, but she is a success once again. It really can be done. For those of you who think Etsy is the Sun and the Earth, take a step back from your computer and breathe the real air.

There are many sellers who have left Etsy for their own websites, craft shows, brick and mortar shops, and other online venues, with great success! I know this, because I've done it myself. I had to re-image too, but between my eBay store, websites, and Artfire stores, I've made a living too.

You can visit us at our websites. Poppy's is poppyswickedgarden.com
Mine are akacinders.com and poppysgardengate.com
They will all link you right through to our Artfire shops. We use the websites as a gateway to our shops. Artfire is great for this, because you don't need to be a member to buy, so it's just like having an online shop. And if we decide to switch venues, it's just as easy to do it this way.

Running With Scissors - Buyer Requests

I'm going to tell you a little secret. I'm going to risk the chance that my buyer will see this and find out I was having fun at her expense. I have had some real odd requests in my days as an online seller, but this one tops them all. Sorry buyer, but this was... well... not really thought out.

 Request went something like this: "I work in a bakery and we have to wear red Aprons. I love this Apron a would really like it, but could you make it with a red background instead of white?"

But seriously, how do you respond to something like that? I mean this is rare vintage, 20+ year old fabric, and stated on the listing. Did she think I printed the fabric myself? Did she think at all? OK, so not to turn down any request, because that's not good for business, and laughing in the face of the buyer is not good either, I made a suggestion.

I explained that I did not make the fabric and that the fabric was vintage and already printed with a white background. I suggested that I could color in the background with a red fabric marker, but for labor, it would be around $100 extra, or she could get a red fabric marker (or two or four) and color in all the white on the apron in herself.

She didn't even have the courtesy to reply back with at thank you for your time. I guess she decided to find an all red Star Wars apron somewhere else.

It wasn't the first time I've had requests to change prints on fabric, it was just the silliest of the requests.

So here is my question? What is the oddest request you've gotten from a buyer? I'd love to hear your response to this one. And if you're worried about your buyers, just leave me an anonymous comment.