Sunday, April 14, 2013
Have a Beer on Me - The Goose Laid a Golden Egg
After 60 years of bad luck sprinkled with a few miracles. I finally got a break. Of course with my Karma that means the next thing is bad health or more bad family news.
I think I was born with bad Karma from a past life. Had to be. Although I guess things could have been worse. Even though some things didn't seem so great, it's like I had a guardian angel to watch that I didn't totally crash and burn.
There were many times I could have died and didn't. Like the time I almost stepped off a 20 foot high platform because I wasn't paying attention (the ADD thing). And there were many more, like the accidental medicine overdose when I was 5.
I thought it was bad to have my parents divorced and live apart from my dad, but turns out he was not good to be around. And that guy I had a crush on? Turns out he had a very very bad history too.
I've had a few miracles, like my son, who wasn't supposed to live past 20, and has received the most amazing surgeries and medical treatments to extend his life to who knows how long. He's almost 40 and still doing well. But not only the surgery, once he had heartbeats that were destroying his heart muscle, and there was nothing to be done about it. Then 6 months later they disappeared with absolutely no explanation.
I don't expect my life to be without event from now on. As a matter of fact, I expect the worse all the time, just to be safe. The past few years have been a financial struggle, forcing me to get some assistance at times. I hated that. I even had to declare bankruptcy a few years ago. Hated that too. But when you're an older woman, it's hard to get hired unless you're a politician, because everyone gets the same benefit package, no matter how old you get. Did you know that your employer has to pay double for your health insurance when you are 60 or over. Who wants to hire a 55 year old?
Enough rambling and whining. I have some money now.
It's thanks to my dear departed ex husband. I felt bad about it until this morning, and I remembered how I walked away and left him almost everything in the divorce settlement. He was supposed to split the possessions with me, but gave most of them away, a lot to his sister. Even personal property of mine that I was supposed to get when he got a place. He even burned or threw out some of my most precious things when we sold our house (which he got to live in for a few years before we sold it). So I guess I really do deserve what I'm getting. After all, no one else qualifies for it. Why not me?
Now, with my little business, I have enough to live fairly comfortably. I'm not wealthy, by any means, but I don't have to worry about a roof over my head or my next meal. Thank you to all my friends who have wished me well. And thank you to my ex for working so hard for so many years that I could get a few years extra decent SS income that will make it possible for me to move out of our daughter's home. Maybe with the lack of stress, my BP will go back down and I can even live a few extra years.