Four Weeks

Four weeks since I broke my ankle. Hard to believe. I still have about 4 more weeks in a cast and then a removable boot support for who knows how long? but at least I should be able to walk by then (I hope).

It's been quite an adventure. This old dog has learned some serious new tricks. First, I had to rearrange my house and my life to accomodate. I was also put on blood pressure medication at the same time, which made it impossible for me to use crutches, so I had to be creative, or lay in bed all day.

I bought a used wheel chair, and if it wasn't for all the bumps between rooms, it would have been great. It would have been great to get me to the car to see the doctor, if it wasn't for all the snow and ice, but there it is. I've adapted an office chair as my major indoor mode of transportation. It rolls and it spins and I can change the height of it for different purposes. It's actually much handier than the wheel chair as long as you have one good leg to push it around with. You just have to be careful, because they can tip over.

I roll from, say my bedroom, to the first elevation, between the living and dining room. A 1 1/2 inch rise that the chair will not roll over. I grab on to the door frame, lift myself on to my good leg and set on a small stool, move the office chair over the bump and drop back down on the office chair. From there I have to take my stool with me, because that's not the last of the floor level changes.

There's a strip between the bathroom and the dining room, that I can roll over, but it's like hitting speed bumps, not good for the chair, so I transfer twice every time I have to go into the bathroom. The kitchen is bad too. It's a 5 inch drop into that room and a 6 inch rise to go into the laundry room off of the kitchen. It gets pretty exhausting.

So, because I'm spending most of the time in a rolling chair, I've had to move all the furniture out of
the way. I've also had to use the wall switch for the fan light in the living room, after I keep reminding the grandsons to use the pull chain. I can't reach it in the middle of the room. I will stand if there is a counter or wall next to me, but the chair is too rolly.

My cousin picked me up a nice swivel bar stool for the kitchen.
I can sit in it to wash dishes and cook food, AND I just found this great bath bench that just clips on the tub. No more sponge baths and leaning over the tub to wash my hair. Three weeks of that was enough. Wish I found this sooner. It was only $23 at walmart.com if you know anyone who could use it.

Sewing is tricky. I'm really supposed to keep my leg elevated as much as possible. That will keep it from swelling and turning that nice purple color you may seen. And yes, it does hurt less elevated, so I have learned to sew sideways with my leg on a footstool and twisted trunk to reach the machine.

I also cut fabric on a cutting board on my bed now. It's a good height for me.

I have a bag that I use like a backpack to haul things from room to room. I have a water bottle by my bed, a thermos for coffee, and a sealed container to transport food if I want to eat in another room. There are tables and benches by the thresholds, to transfer things in my hands when I transfer with chairs, and I now use a laundry bag, instead of my arms.

I have to sleep with my leg on a pile of pillows and on my back, which is my least favorite position, I have to tilt the blinds instead of opening them, because I cut the cords short for the grandbaby, I have to have someone get my mail and garbage, and I keep my phone on me at all times, in case I have another accident.

Also, I have to think ahead of time, when I need something. For instance I have food in a pantry in the laundry room, so when I go to do laundry, I have to look at the food and decide if there's anything I will need. I have to be much more deliberate in my every day actions, not just random.

Sometimes I get a little frustrated and weepy, but then I think of all the people who are out there, that live with some kind of disability every day. I will probably not be exactly the same as I was before the accident, but I know I will walk again someday, and I will be able to stand in the shower and easily get to the pantry. I'll probably still be able to take a long walk to town again eventually, and work in the garden. Everything new that happens is a new adventure, It's only a few months, I can handle that.

Life on Mars - Forty Year Flashback

I could tell you how my landlord finally got a replacement for the door window that broke 2 years ago, that we taped together so shards wouldn't fall in the house (I did the replacing, at least he bought the plexi).

I could tell you that the accident prone child stepped on a yellow jacket and was screaming for hours until the Diphenhydramine kicked in and he fell asleep. Or that we got it from the neighbor that uses it on her dog instead of killing the fleas.

I could tell you that we had a drought last week, no rain, no sales.

But instead, I want to tell you about something that happened 40 years ago. Well, almost 40 years ago. Some events this week, lead me to remember this, and what I thought was a terrible disaster, might have been part of the bigger plan all along. You see, sometimes you can't know what a horrible event might actually mean in the grander scheme of things.

I was young, I hung out at a local bar, and I drank there. Usually we just drank, but that particular night, unlike the usual nights, some generous person got a supply of barbiturates that he shared with the rest of the kids. I got one and paced myself with the alcohol. Not that I was a good girl by any means, it was just that night I was more cautious. Almost everyone was far more wasted that I had ever seen, and the bar had a "different flavor". More falling, more dancing, more hugging, kissing, secret sharing, whispering.

That night Star was there with her girlfriend, and they both tasted the candy. Star was the lead singer in a local band that I loved so much. She sang like Joplin and was just as crazy. Her friend was very young, a plain dresser, but pretty, and she was always wasted and always sad. I never saw her smile, not once. But Star odored her.

Things got so wild and crazy that night, but near closing time I was starting to get a bit sober. A few of us stayed with the owners after the bar closed, Star and her friend among us. Star was so incredibly wasted, she couldn't possibly drive, but she was getting ready to go. We weren't friends, we barely ever spoke to each other, but I couldn't let her get in a car, or drive that girl. I quietly went by her and took her keys while she was talking with another patron.

She walked around for a long time, looking for her keys, asking everyone if they had seen them. She came to me and I said I hadn't seen them either. I suggested that it might not be a good idea for her to drive in her condition, but she insisted on finding her keys and leaving. I had the keys in my hands, I had the keys in my hands. Then some Damn drunk ass moron, who saw me take the keys, took them out of my hand and gave them back to her. I had the keys in my hands.

A few days later I heard that there was an accident. Star's friend died and Star was in jail. She eventually had a considerable amount of time to serve, for vehicular manslaughter, let alone that she lost someone she loved dearly. I saw her after she was released. She was not the same person, but maybe that was s good thing.

For nearly forty years I blamed myself for letting go of the keys. And this week, I thought, at least I held her off for a time. One girl had died, but if I hadn't done at least that, who knows how many would have died. You see, she would have left at closing time. There would have been more people on the road, but as it was, the roads were pretty empty by the time they finally hit the road.

If I had held more tightly, maybe no lives would have been lost, maybe Star would have continued her self destructive ways, maybe her friend would have become so sad she would have ended her life at her own hands. But I didn't hold tight enough, and a life was lost, but maybe there would have been more losses, if I didn't care and stick my nose where it wasn't wanted.